Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize