that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
