We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
