There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
