I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
