if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
