these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
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