so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize