Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
