New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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