Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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