You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize