Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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