dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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