32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Welp...herpes.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
