he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
