I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Randomize
