i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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