SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
