woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
