next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Randomize
