All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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