I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
