Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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