Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
