return my video game
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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