yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Found your dick twin last night
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
