he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
This baby is an asshole
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
