I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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