i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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