but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Randomize
