Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
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