NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
