im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Randomize
