I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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