you guys were way drunker than both of me
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
