You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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