Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
