Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Randomize
