I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Randomize
