I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
God, I missed his penis.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
