I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
i out mim tonsoeep
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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