Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
