I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I wish they made helmets for livers.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Randomize
