Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
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