I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
