Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
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