its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I stole a fireplace last night.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Randomize
