how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
