why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Randomize
