I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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