So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
