You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
