Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
This is the high leading the old right now
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
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