Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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