Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
