I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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