it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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