its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
