Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
