im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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