Three words: puerto rican gang bang
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
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