Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Randomize
