Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
You ruined the universe
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
