You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
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