we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I would fuck him just for his dog
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
