you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I am one with the molecules
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
