Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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