I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
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