You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
