Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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