i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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