TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
